Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Changing - Kati's thoughts

I'm just realizing that it's been like 4 days since my last post. The last three days have flown by as I've been with part of our team in Mumbai on a side trip. Plans for these three days got dramatically changed due to some circumstances completely out of our control, so it was interesting to see how things took shape while we were there. (My natural "fly by the seat of my pants" tendencies have served me pretty well in India.) We had opportunities to spend time with people doing great ministry in Mumbai, continuing with our pattern of meeting some amazing Indian brothers and sisters. As Vince said earlier today, "I'm just waiting for us to meet someone who is notfantastic," because literally everyone we meet is just an amazing child of God pursuing effective ministry. I am so inspired by these people.

I need to keep this post short because it's late and we have an early morning tomorrow as we head to the Taj Mahal. I did want to share with you all though, that as the trip winds down, I'm starting to think a lot about the "so what?" My heart has been wrenched every which way in the last week and a half. I've seen things I couldn't have imagined. I have literally visited the homes of prostitutes and leppers and been humbled by their hospitality. I have worshipped with orphans and been put to shame by my own lack of faith. I have played and cried and everything in between, it seems. I meant it when I said earlier that this place is changing me. I can feel it in my spirit. But what does it mean when I leave this place? How is it changing me? What will really be different when I get home to my predictable, priviledged life? How will the stories I've learned and lived these two weeks in India impact my coming and going in my "normal" life? For me, the answers to these questions will be everything. This trip has blessed me beyond belief and I know that already people are connecting to the stories we've shared and the people we've met. But I know that there is so much more. Being changed, really changed, will mean so much more. But what that will look like, I do not yet know. I realize that God reveals these things all in good time. I'm not worried about God's timing or about his faithfulness in bringing to light the ways that my "normal" life will look different when I get home. In fact, I'm not "worried" at all. What I feel I guess is a certain sense of awareness and alertness...I want to make the most of the brokenness that God has brought to my heart. I want the sounds of children's voices and the looks on people's faces as vividly as they are in my mind right now to take full effect on my spirit and my heart so that the fruit is as great as it can be.

I hope that you will pray for me and the rest of the team here now as we finish up our last couple days in India. Please pray for each of our "so what" stories...that we would each have open and obedient hearts for God to use us to the fullest as we process our experiences and allow ourselves to be truly, richly changed.

I'm so thankful for each of you who are reading, praying, following the details of our trip. Though we have 10 team members in India, I feel like we have soooo many more as a part of our team...people who have been walking right alongside us in prayer and know who you are...if you feel like part of your heart is in India even though you've never been here (or even if you have :)), you really are a part of this team. God has shown an outpouring of love and support through each of you as we have been here and I thank you in advance for the ways I know you will continue to let him use you as we return to our homes in the states, changed (and changing) people.

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